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Alan Kistler
13 January 2009 @ 02:53 am
Word is that LJ might be on its way out soon, so why not do a little update of sorts.

Went to LA and had two very promising meetings with Warner Bros. Home Video. We'll see what happens on that end.

Grant Morrison's Japanese teen hero Most Excellent Super-Bat is officially my favorite new comic character of 2008.

I am now a Star Trek character, since my boy David Mack inserted me into two of the book that make up his recent DESTINY trilogy. If you want to see bad-ass action, insane stakes, deep characterization, and the coolest sniper rifle in the world, read this trilogy already! Also, I have been informed that I will be appearing again in SINGULAR DESTINY, the follow-up story written by Keith R. A. DeCandido. This means, of course, that I am now a trans-dimensional being as I exist both in our three-dimensional universe and the two-dimensional universe of novel text. BEWARE MY POWER!

During a drunken conversation on New Year's Eve, thought of a new book. Have spoken to a friend in publishing and she thinks it's brilliant. Will begin work and research later this week.

Saw "Bender's Game." Decided I like it better than "Beast with a Billion Backs" but not as much as "Bender's Big Score."

My "platonic wife" and partner in cinema crime Cynthia celebrated her birthday and looked absolutely dynamite. Take a look at her in her bad-ass outfit. Ain't that rose in her hair cute?


I have recently reunited with two old friends, Megan McGill and Gen Toole. Since I enjoy photos, here are their photos. Megan is on the left, Gen is on the right. I missed talking to them both very much, so it's been great to get in contact with them again. I also got in touch with my old buddies Eymard and James again, but alas have no decent photos of them.

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And while Christmas was very aggravating and stressful (as always), I was able to escape for a few hours and have fun with Kat, who thankfully was in town. We were hoping to spend New Year's together as well, but alas, it was not meant to be.

And speaking of New Year's I had a great flipping time as always. Went to Lincoln Park where the staff and I hung out for a bit before the general public began arriving. A few friends showed up, a few folks I haven't seen in a couple of years showed up, and new friendships were made. I also got to enjoy giving Helen and Karen their first New Year's Eve party AND their first sleepover party in the same night.

Photos of that New Year's evening follow behind the cut. Enjoy.

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In closing, I think Bendis is a good writer but "Secret Invasion" filled me with a sense of "So what?" Meanwhile, I deeply enjoyed "Batman R.I.P." and am LOVING "Final Crisis." Grant Morrison, you loveable madman, when are you gonna write us a Doctor Who feature film already?!


That is all. Enjoy yourselves.
Alan Kistler
26 October 2008 @ 03:31 am
Holy crap I've been busy!

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I leave you now with some funny quotes from the past two weeks:

"I want to be Three's Company for Halloween but there's only one of me." - Jacque

"Alan, try this." - Courtney
"Is that a green snocone?" - Me
"Yes, eat it." - Courtney
"What the hell kind of flavor is green?" - Me

"Bit of advice, don't try to pierce your own wrist." - girl on plane
"Dammit, you've just shattered my dream." - Me

"Man. Boobs and pop corn do not mix." - Jacque

"I sometimes think humanity is someone's night terror. Someone else's dream. Not mine." - Karen
"If reality were MY dream, there'd be a lot more musical numbers." - Me

"So, you look like a guy who gets laid." - guy at bar
"Thanks, man. You look like a guy who gets drinks." - Me

"Alan, does it make you feel old knowing I go to bars now?" - Ashley
"I'm not THAT much older than you!" - Me
"Besides, Alan's been going to bars since he was like 12." - Jacque
"That's because when Alan was born he was 35." - Ashley
"I fucking hate you both!" - Me

And the best pick-up line I've heard recently, said to Jacque by a stranger who approached her when she was sitting alone at the bar:

"So ... you look like you don't have any friends."

Awesome, guy. Just awesome.
Alan Kistler
24 September 2008 @ 05:13 pm
Okay, some quick updates.

Despite my feelings/history with the city, I will be at the Baltimore Comic-Con on saturday. So feel free to say hello and offer me food.

I am in talks right now about making an appearance on another TV series this year. More info to come later.

I am writing my ass off for ComicMix, which is a lot of fun. One of my recent articles was linked to by USA TODAY'S Pop Candy Blog and PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY's blog THE BEAT. Why has this article been getting press? Could be something to do with the jacket I made recently. For more details as to WHY I made said jacket, click this link.


I am heading to a wedding in LA next month and, while there, I will be visiting my "twin" Jacque and looking up old business contacts about job opportunities.

I will be in Philadelphia for a week in October and the first week of November. But I shall be here for Halloween, which means costume preparations must begin.

I finally joined facebook and within days was tracked down by a frightening amount of old friends and acquaintances, and amazingly, 70% of them I was okay with finding me.

Thursday, Laura and I performed a duet of "F*** Her Gently" at Sing-Sing. We shocked many but evidently pleased others, as I was then requested to join in on a few other songs with strangers. Good times.

I desperately want to go to Criff Dog again in the near future.

Laura is leaving New York and I am saddened by this. Look how cute we are in this photo.

On an unrelated note, John Byrne ...... OOOOOOH! One day, Byrne. ONE DAY!

Finally, a friend of mine recently asked to see a photo of College Freshman Kistler. Here is a photo of him on a typical Tuesday night as he made his rounds through the dorm, armed with his robe and his whiskey. Next to it is a photo of College Sophomore Kistler standing with my usual gang of cohorts, otherwise known as "The Crew", including my lovely platonic wife of seven years now, Cynthia Lau.

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Alan Kistler
27 August 2008 @ 12:03 pm
For anyone who's interested, I just posted an article at COMICMIX.COM concerning some of the more interesting (and ridiculous) times that Batman has temporarily acquired super-human powers.

Alan Kistler
25 August 2008 @ 04:44 pm
After research, writing and revising several posts, I am taking a break to fill out Karen's meme cuz it seems like a long time since I've done this.

Also, Jacque forced me to finally join Facebook, an act which has been added to the list of reasons why I hate you all.

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Alan Kistler
20 August 2008 @ 01:54 am
Did you know Hitler enjoyed TORCHWOOD?

See what he thought about the SEASON TWO FINALE.

Torchwood Series 2 Finale Upsets Even Hitler

Thanks to Becca for sending this my way.
Alan Kistler
11 August 2008 @ 01:32 pm

CHRIS: "What are you up to?"
ME: "I may need a dress for this weekend. And a wig. Preferably blonde."
CHRIS: "Well, it was only a matter of time."
ME: "Oh, fuck you."

So yeah, let's get to the meat and potatoes of it.

SUCK IT, BERNARD! Oh, yeah! I'm talking to you, buddy! You with your "We're gonna blow the U.S. away." really? Cuz the scoreboard sez differently buddy! My boy Lezak beat you AND your record. OOOOH! Can you smell that? Can you smell the victory? It's tasty!

(also, watching the olympics with a girl who will literally jump up and scream at the competitors as if she knows them and they're about to get fed to lions is so much more entertaining than watching it in a bar).

Might be involved in a play starting next week. Not sure yet. Also, Cynthia and I have decided that since this is the seventh year anniversary of our friendship (which I guess makes it the six-and-a-half year anniversary of our "platonic marriage") there is only one way to truly celebrate it.

We are re-making my film COFFEE AND DONUTS: PRIVATE EYES! which starred myself and Cyn as the title characters Danny Coffee and Melissa Donuts. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Had a great weekend. Cynthia and I went down to DC cuz we figured it was about time she saw where i came from. Sadly, the trip could only be a day and a half due to our schedules, so it was a very short trip and I knew I wouldn't have time to visit and say hi to half the people I wanted to visit and say hi to.

Nevertheless, a wonderful time. All we ate the entire weekend was crabs, cheesesteaks, pizza and nachos. I introduced her to Gentleman Jack and the series Black Books. We watched HARVEY with Jimmy Stewart (a movie based on a pulitzer prize winning play which I realize now may have had a lot to do with several of my philosophies on life). We hung out with my cousin Emma and my "brother" Bill and my old pal/companion/whatever you wanna call her Lorena. We wound up having lunch in the same room with Clinton Portis, we drove around with the top down, we explored insanely dark woods, had a small adventure in the subway stations, and saturday night we all shared stories about times that friends of ours have gotten drunk and gone to the bathroom in places that were not actually bathrooms (it's amazing how universal such stories are).

Saturday night, I also nearly punched out a bunch of kids from California who decided to pretend they were Australian. And I may have been rude to a drunk girl with an obnoxious voice, but hey, I can promise you it was justified.

A nice short (and necessary) vacation.



CYNTHIA: "Dating sucks."
ME: "I certainly can't argue that."
CYNTHIA: "My last boy sucked, the girls you've been with recently have all weird or crazy."
ME: "Course, I'm weird and crazy too."
CYNTHIA: "We SHOULD just get married. Screw it. Let's get married. Everyone thinks we are anyway."
ME: "This is your proposal?"
CYNTHIA: "Sure. You wanna?"
ME: "I can't say my life would change significantly, so ... sure, why not?"
CYNTHIA: "Good. Now let's go to the bar and see if we can't find hot people."
ME: "Yes, dear."
Alan Kistler
07 August 2008 @ 04:48 pm
Imagine if you will, faithful readers, that you are me.

Daunting, I know, but imagine none the less.

More specifically, imagine you are the me that existed two years ago. A young lad of a mere 24 years of age. You are on the Jersey Shore, in a beach house in Ocean City. You are spending the week living with four single female friends and your good buddy Tall Paul (also known as Guido). It is your second to last day there. You have been somewhat tipsy for most of the vacation due to your steady diet of pizza and jack daniels and your insistence on taking a shot anytime someone asks "so what do you wanna do now?"

In fact, your behavior prompts Paul to say the now-immortal phrase "Alan, living with you, it's like every day is a drinking game."

But I digress. The point is it's your second to last day there. You are actually sober. And the girls are bored. What do you do?

If you were me, this is what you would do. You would listen to your friend Paul as he came up with a brilliant idea. Then you would all get together, make a CD playlist of several songs from the 90s, have someone hold a camera and a boombox, and begin to DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!

(What, did you all think I was kidding when I said all your problems could be solved by dancing?)

The summer of 06 was a weird time for me. I was in a job I hated. I had given up on many of my creative endeavors. I was convinced I was done with dating and romantic flirtations in general. And I was beginning to suspect that perhaps my parents were right about me.

But despite all that, I swore to myself, ... BY GOD, THERE WILL BE DANCING!

BTW, the lip-synching by me and the guitar are totally improv. see if you can see the others trying not to laugh. ;-)

I'm so glad we did this. and I'm so glad we had a sequel week-long get together this past summer as well.
Alan Kistler
07 August 2008 @ 04:40 pm
Do you have any odd nervous habits?

I sometimes wind up humming/tapping a sinatra or davis song to myself. I've also been known to mutter my thoughts aloud or rub my wrists as if making sure they're not cuffed.

Usually, though, i just tell my nervousness to take a back seat to rational logic or impulsive solutions. I prefer to use fear and anxiety for fuel rather than as a shackle.

I guess that would make me a lame Green Lantern. ;-)

Oh, yeah. I went there.
Alan Kistler
22 July 2008 @ 01:11 am
Why I love my professor (and indeed, further proof of how lucky I've been with the teachers I've had over the years).

The following is conversation between me and Prof. Ben-Atar when I entered the classroom. There were witnesses.

BEN-ATAR: Hey, Alan.
ME: Hey, Teach. How you doing tonight?
BEN-ATAR: Well, Alan ... to be honest ... at first I was afraid.
ME: Truly? Were you ... petrified?
BEN-ATAR: I was, I was. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
ME: Say it aint' so.
BEN-ATAR: It's true. But then, you know ... I spent so many nights thinking how you done me wrong.
ME: Did you grow strong?
BEN-ATAR: Yeah, I think I'm learning how to get along.
ME: Great! But now I'm back, you know.
BEN-ATAR: From outer space?!
ME: Indubitably!
ALEX (classmate): Okay, you both need to stop it right now.

and everyone laughed.

Unrelated note. Met a girl last night, a friend of a friend, who looked remarkably like my ex Rebecca. She seemed very nice and very sweet and then at one point told me she didn't like BATMAN BEGINS.

It's amazing how a person's attractiveness can drop with a single statement. Kind of like when that one girl told me she preferred Geno's cheesesteaks to Pat's and I just had to let her go (and what was even funnier was that everyone I spoke to who has had said cheesesteaks was in complete agreement with my behavior on that one).

And now, since many of my friends are doing it:

visited 25 states (50%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or determine the next president

One day we shall reach Alaska. Oh, yes.

But we will never return to Idaho. Not after last time.