Alan Kistler (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} justcomeinalone) wrote,@ 2007-08-22 11:10:00 |
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Kistler and Optimus Playa do the reviews
PLEASE NOTE: This contains minor spoilers about the new Bionic Woman pilot, the new Flash Gordon series, Eureka and Torchwood.
I was gonna give my opinions on certain things I've checked out recently, but then decided that my icon Optimus Playa (the Prime Pimp, if you will) might want to give his two cents.
OP: Aight. Optimus Playa is gonna lay it down foh y'all.
AK: Word.
OP: What's up first on the track, my flesh-creature homey?
AK: First, I thought we'd talk about the new Flash Gordon series. What did you think of this reimagining, OP? Personally, I still can't decide if I like the fact that now he travels between Earth and the planet Mongo through "space-ripple" portals that just show up in Rock Creek Park. I mean, part of the coolness of Flash was the weird finned space-ships.
OP: Word, my organic honkey brother! How you gonna replace bad-ass spaceships that had fins and shit with ripples in the air, huh? This ain't a poor man's Stargate, is it? What, like we liked "Stargate Atlantis" so much we now gotta see "Stargate Rock Creek Park"?
AK: Better than "CSI: Rock Creek Park." And as someone who grew up in that area and visited Rock Creek Park a lot, I gotta say, it's amazing how when it's filmed it looks very much like Vancouver instead.
OP: But flesh-brother, what's the hizzie with Ming not even being Asian no mo'? They sayin' Asians can't be good villains? They needs to see the bad-ass Asian playas in RUSH HOUR and BATMAN BEGINS.
AK: I'm more upset that Ming just doesn't seem to DO anything villainous yet. Okay, we're TOLD he's a bad guy. Fine. But ... SHOW Me something. He keeps slaves, but what else does he do? Does he beat up kids? Does he throw hot coals at people like Caligula? Don't just have him march around talking about how evil he is, that's weak.
OP: But yo, he's gotta be weak cuz otherwise the new weak-ass Flash Gordon would be kilt. I mean, they got that boy Whitney from Smallville to be my man with the plan? Sheee-it. You done got kicked off SMALLVILLE for a reason, son. You can't compete with teenage Superman, how you gonna be a defender for my planet?
AK: Word.
AK: Okay, now let's talk the new Bionic Woman. I saw the pilot and I dug it a lot. I think the show has a lot of promise and I think Michelle Ryan is both gorgeous AND very relatable as a character.
OP: Yo, this chick is off the hook! I saw her standin' on a rooftop and lookin' at the other rooftop and I'm like "Yo, I know that flesh-girl ain't gonna make that jump." So why am I sittin' there all surprised later when she done made the jump, boy?! And with her robot eyes and those chips that program all them fightin' styles in her head, that girl can throw down!
AK: I also like that the villains aren't necessarily totally evil. They've just been screwed up so much by some of the so-called good guys. It'll be interesting to see how that plays out.
OP: Yeah, but really, our girl Jaime needs to take that other Bionic Woman's advice and get herself more decked out. Only one bionic arm? C'mon girl. Why you gotta be hatin' on the robot parts. We don' bite. You like bein' all robot, I promise. You come over sometime and I'll tell you all about it.
AK: Down, boy.
OP: Just sayin',the girl should go all robot. It's the sheezzy.
AK: Okay, what about Torchwood?
OP: Buncha playa hatas tryin' to fake like they're heroes.
AK: Yeah, I really don't feel like the show has a purpose. It's not bad, it just seems not to have its own real identity yet.
OP: How is my boy Jack gonna be saying "You gotta be ready, the 21st century is when it all changes" and using his future intel to help himself out and then he goes and says "Yo, you can't know the future, that'd be wrong." Then why are you preparin' them, son?
AK: I'm more confused with the team. In the first episode, they all seemed competent and they all seemed to get along and understand each other and each seemed to have a specific role. But once Russell T. Davies left the building, it was like watching a bunch of strangers hang out and just bitch. And if they're beyond the government, who funds them? Who makes U.N.I.T. and the police just respect their authority? They can't ALL know and trust Jack. Hopefully they'll explain all this soon.
OP: And yo, how's my fine girl Toshiko supposed to study anythin' if Jack done locks it up after each episode? And how's Gwen joining up so she can help Torchwood be more about the people and two episodes later she's just like "screw this, Imma get me some lovin' and not care no more what Jack does"?
AK: I do like Toshiko a lot. And I like Jack when he's moping 20% of the time rather than 90%. You think maybe it's all a con like Ivy said?
OP: The girl speaks truth.
AK: Indubitably.
AK: Hey, have you caught the newest season of Eureka?
OP: Word, that's a good show, yo.
AK: Seriously.
OP: For reals. But they needs more robots.
AK: You always say that.
OP: Why you gotta be hatin', my little white bread flesh-pet?
AK: Just saying.
AK: Well, thanks for the help on these reviews, Optimus Prime Playa.
OP: You down with OPP?
AK: Yeah, you know me.
PLEASE NOTE: This contains minor spoilers about the new Bionic Woman pilot, the new Flash Gordon series, Eureka and Torchwood.
I was gonna give my opinions on certain things I've checked out recently, but then decided that my icon Optimus Playa (the Prime Pimp, if you will) might want to give his two cents.
OP: Aight. Optimus Playa is gonna lay it down foh y'all.
AK: Word.
OP: What's up first on the track, my flesh-creature homey?
AK: First, I thought we'd talk about the new Flash Gordon series. What did you think of this reimagining, OP? Personally, I still can't decide if I like the fact that now he travels between Earth and the planet Mongo through "space-ripple" portals that just show up in Rock Creek Park. I mean, part of the coolness of Flash was the weird finned space-ships.
OP: Word, my organic honkey brother! How you gonna replace bad-ass spaceships that had fins and shit with ripples in the air, huh? This ain't a poor man's Stargate, is it? What, like we liked "Stargate Atlantis" so much we now gotta see "Stargate Rock Creek Park"?
AK: Better than "CSI: Rock Creek Park." And as someone who grew up in that area and visited Rock Creek Park a lot, I gotta say, it's amazing how when it's filmed it looks very much like Vancouver instead.
OP: But flesh-brother, what's the hizzie with Ming not even being Asian no mo'? They sayin' Asians can't be good villains? They needs to see the bad-ass Asian playas in RUSH HOUR and BATMAN BEGINS.
AK: I'm more upset that Ming just doesn't seem to DO anything villainous yet. Okay, we're TOLD he's a bad guy. Fine. But ... SHOW Me something. He keeps slaves, but what else does he do? Does he beat up kids? Does he throw hot coals at people like Caligula? Don't just have him march around talking about how evil he is, that's weak.
OP: But yo, he's gotta be weak cuz otherwise the new weak-ass Flash Gordon would be kilt. I mean, they got that boy Whitney from Smallville to be my man with the plan? Sheee-it. You done got kicked off SMALLVILLE for a reason, son. You can't compete with teenage Superman, how you gonna be a defender for my planet?
AK: Word.
AK: Okay, now let's talk the new Bionic Woman. I saw the pilot and I dug it a lot. I think the show has a lot of promise and I think Michelle Ryan is both gorgeous AND very relatable as a character.
OP: Yo, this chick is off the hook! I saw her standin' on a rooftop and lookin' at the other rooftop and I'm like "Yo, I know that flesh-girl ain't gonna make that jump." So why am I sittin' there all surprised later when she done made the jump, boy?! And with her robot eyes and those chips that program all them fightin' styles in her head, that girl can throw down!
AK: I also like that the villains aren't necessarily totally evil. They've just been screwed up so much by some of the so-called good guys. It'll be interesting to see how that plays out.
OP: Yeah, but really, our girl Jaime needs to take that other Bionic Woman's advice and get herself more decked out. Only one bionic arm? C'mon girl. Why you gotta be hatin' on the robot parts. We don' bite. You like bein' all robot, I promise. You come over sometime and I'll tell you all about it.
AK: Down, boy.
OP: Just sayin',the girl should go all robot. It's the sheezzy.
AK: Okay, what about Torchwood?
OP: Buncha playa hatas tryin' to fake like they're heroes.
AK: Yeah, I really don't feel like the show has a purpose. It's not bad, it just seems not to have its own real identity yet.
OP: How is my boy Jack gonna be saying "You gotta be ready, the 21st century is when it all changes" and using his future intel to help himself out and then he goes and says "Yo, you can't know the future, that'd be wrong." Then why are you preparin' them, son?
AK: I'm more confused with the team. In the first episode, they all seemed competent and they all seemed to get along and understand each other and each seemed to have a specific role. But once Russell T. Davies left the building, it was like watching a bunch of strangers hang out and just bitch. And if they're beyond the government, who funds them? Who makes U.N.I.T. and the police just respect their authority? They can't ALL know and trust Jack. Hopefully they'll explain all this soon.
OP: And yo, how's my fine girl Toshiko supposed to study anythin' if Jack done locks it up after each episode? And how's Gwen joining up so she can help Torchwood be more about the people and two episodes later she's just like "screw this, Imma get me some lovin' and not care no more what Jack does"?
AK: I do like Toshiko a lot. And I like Jack when he's moping 20% of the time rather than 90%. You think maybe it's all a con like Ivy said?
OP: The girl speaks truth.
AK: Indubitably.
AK: Hey, have you caught the newest season of Eureka?
OP: Word, that's a good show, yo.
AK: Seriously.
OP: For reals. But they needs more robots.
AK: You always say that.
OP: Why you gotta be hatin', my little white bread flesh-pet?
AK: Just saying.
AK: Well, thanks for the help on these reviews, Optimus Prime Playa.
OP: You down with OPP?
AK: Yeah, you know me.
